1. Ring in the New Year   1.6 (1.6 = Grade Level; see Wikipedia, Readability‐Grader, or Readability‐Score)
2. No Food or Water for Her   1.6
3. Where Did He Leaf It?   1.2
4. Get Rich or Get Going   2.6
5. He Loves Her Because   1.6
6. Your Hugs Are Bothering Me   2.1
7. Is That Rice, or a Bug?   0.8
8. Hacker Steals Millions, Copper Says   4.1
9. Don't Be a Racist, or a ...   2.4
10. Keep His Death Quiet, or Not?   2.2
11. Bad Brakes Trump Drunk Drivers   4.4
12. "Please Wait" ... and Wait   2.2
13. He Wants His Back Back   1.3
14. The Package Pick‐Up Attempt (1)   2.6
15. The Package Pick‐Up Attempt (2)   2.4
16. A Cigarette for Long‐Gone Grandpa   2.4
17. New Parking Signs, Same Villains   3.0
18. M&Ms Mmm‐Mmm, Scratches Unh‐Unh   0.2
19. Tutor: How Much to Charge?   1.7
20. NYC Loves The Naked Cowboy   2.7
21. Rewrite NY Voting Rules? No Problem!   4.3
22. It's Late—Where's His Wife? (1)   3.0
23. It's Late—Where's His Wife? (2)   2.0
24. ATMs behind Locked Door   1.4
25. Word Search Tests Your English   3.3
26. Painting: Old House by the Sea   1.1
27. Insurance Costs Little, Pays Little   4.0
28. Ripped Pants at NYC's Duane Rite   2.2
29. Manhattan outside His Window (1)   3.0
30. Manhattan outside His Window (2)   3.1
31. No More Searching for Store Items   2.8
32. Good to the Last Drop!   2.9
33. Nations Respond to Quake in Haiti   3.5
34. Birds Hit Plane Hits Icy River   2.4
35. The Icing on the (Birthday) Cake   1.5
36. Well, It's Not His Appendix   2.6
37. Decent Apples, Indecent Manners   3.2
38. One Man's Trash Is ...   2.2
39. USPS: Package (out of) Control   2.5
40. TSA Will Find Him—Eventually   3.8
41. When Everyone's a Hero, No One Is   2.4
42. Your Government Has Your Back   1.9
43. The Front Desk Has a Dark Side   3.5
44. Fired‐up Fired Worker Fires Back   2.2
45. Lax Security, Relaxed Guard at LAX (1)   1.4
46. Lax Security, Relaxed Guard at LAX (2)   3.5
47. Getting Along Like Cats and Dogs   1.1
48. USPS: We Deliver, Not Redeliver (1)   2.7
49. USPS: We Deliver, Not Redeliver (2)   5.9
50. USPS: We Deliver, Not Redeliver (3)   4.8
51. USPS: We Deliver, Not Redeliver (4)   3.9
52. Fly the Un-Friendly Skies   2.9
53. Job, He's Not: Life Is a Hassle   4.3
54. Info Desk: Nod Right, Nod Left   3.0
55. I Called You? No, You Called Me!   1.4
56. Grab the Banana and Run   2.4
57. And It'd Better Be Quilted   0.7
58. Umbrellas Fill NYC Trashcans   2.8
59. Swimmer Ends Up in the Drink   2.2
60. Someone's Dinner Smells Good   1.3
61. Same Book, Different No. of Pages   3.3
62. Wash & Dry, Colored & White (1)   2.1
63. Wash & Dry, Colored & White (2)   0.0
64. Spring Forward, Fall Back   1.1
65. Paid For by U.S. Census Bureau (1)   2.3
66. Paid For by U.S. Census Bureau (2)   3.4
67. An Evening Jog on the Beach   1.9
68. Glassy Top, Wobbly Bottom (1)   0.6
69. Glassy Top, Wobbly Bottom (2)   0.1
70. A Perfectly Useless Perfect Score   4.9
71. Clothespin First, Bandage Second   0.5
72. See the Doctor, Face the Music   2.3
73. No Hand Merits No Hand Out   2.6
74. Count Your Change before You Leave   1.5
75. Cheap: Apt., Postcard, Applicant (1)   3.6
76. Cheap: Apt., Postcard, Applicant (2)   2.3
77. Pollster Interview Ends Suddenly   1.3
78. Cheap Jacket: What Goes Up ... (1)   2.4
79. Cheap Jacket: What Goes Up ... (2)   1.8
80. The Sofa Not Sat On (1)   3.6
81. The Sofa Not Sat On (2)   2.3
82. BP: Busted Pipeline, Bitter Public   3.3

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83. Gulf Disaster: Oil and Water   2.9
84. It's a (Whirly)Bird! It's a Plane!   4.1
85. Projectile Retort to Performance Art   1.8
86. Ump Strikes Out at First   3.7
87. Oh, Boy! It's a Boy!   1.3
88. From Penthouse to Outhouse (1)   3.0
89. From Penthouse to Outhouse (2)   3.6
90. Husband's Love Is XXX Large   1.0
91. America: It Was All Worth It   3.2
92. Kill the Bugs, Save the Bugs   2.9
93. How about You Thanking Me!   5.4
94. He Likes Them Young and Pretty   2.5
95. Wedding Invite Worries Him   4.8
96. He Tricks the Airline—Maybe   3.4
97. Ham It Up with Your Burger   4.7
98. McBurgers Recalls Glasses   4.6
99. 20 Years behind Bars = $10M   4.1
100. Cell Phone Saves Drunk Driver   2.6
101. What Do Girls Want?   0.3
102. Smoking Causes Tooth Decay   4.0
103. Mom Liked Me More Than You   4.1
104. Thieves Take 5 Museum Paintings   4.6
105. His Girls Will Date the Right Boys   2.9
106. Market Bags Too Heavy (1)   5.2
107. Market Bags Too Heavy (2)   2.9
108. Who Sent This Cool Email?   1.5
109. Book Is Full of Typos   3.8
110. Hangs Up on Alzheimer's Lady   2.4
111. No Haggling re Garage Door   4.1
112. The Neighbors Are Spying On Me   2.2
113. A Flowery, Focused Foto at Macy's   4.3
114. Push Bully Back, Son   1.4
115. Workers Abound in Big Apple (1)   2.9
116. Workers Abound in Big Apple (2)   4.3
117. Beautiful Lighter, Sorrowful Engraving   1.8
118. Dig For the Rewards Cards   2.4
119. His Voice Tries to Trick Him   3.4
120. Pit Bull Loose in Central Park (1)   1.9
121. Pit Bull Loose in Central Park (2)   1.9
122. Silver‐Haired, Silver‐Tongued Seafarer   1.9
123. She Sees Hair—There and There   1.9
124. A Shaken Baby Doesn't Stir   2.8
125. How to Pick Up Girls   3.0
126. She Borrows a No. 2 Pencil   1.6
127. Flu Shots for Flu Season   1.8
128. Tenant Takes a Look For a Crook   0.5
129. Janitor's Pail Is Always Empty   1.4
130. A Natural Pillow for Icy Walks   3.0
131. Newspaper Boils His Blood   3.8
132. Single Prof Seeks Girlfriend   1.2
133. Pull Paper Towels Singly   1.9
134. He Loves Her So Much   0.7
135. Simple Names for Her Pets   0.7
136. Mean Coworkers Anger Boyfriend   2.1
137. Scabs Are for Picking   0.3
138. Her Honda Is Her New Home   0.8
139. Goooooaaaaal!   1.5
140. Client Loves the 18th Apt.   2.2
141. Favor for Mom Goes Poorly   0.8
142. A Love Flight, LA to NYC   2.0
143. Trick‐or‐Treaters Get Tricked   2.8
144. NY Prisons: "The Good Life"   4.0
145. Big Apple, Here We Come!   2.2
146. Baby Dies after Fall   3.2
147. NYC Radio Weather Report   4.7
148. NYC Radio Traffic Report   5.4
149. Rescue Dog Rescues Rescuer   4.8
150. Fearful Female's Fatal Finger (1)   2.1
151. Fearful Female's Fatal Finger (2)   4.7
152. Letter Omits Need for Car (1)   5.8
153. Letter Omits Need for Car (2)   2.2
154. Bed, Bike, or Black Plague? (1)   4.2
155. Bed, Bike, or Black Plague? (2)   4.9
156. Lightning Bolt Enlightens Angler (1)   2.2
157. Lightning Bolt Enlightens Angler (2)   4.4
158. Soothe Cords with 8 a Day (1)   4.3
159. Soothe Cords with 8 a Day (2)   2.6
160. Hole in the Face Cancer (1)   8.7
161. Hole in the Face Cancer (2)   5.7
162. Dad: It's Just a Stomachache (1)   4.4
163. Dad: It's Just a Stomachache (2)   1.8
164. Dad Awaits Surgery (1)   2.1
165. Dad Awaits Surgery (2)   2.2
166. Priest Hijacks a Eulogy (1)   4.0
167. Priest Hijacks a Eulogy (2)   5.2

Teachers: All 167 stories above ↑ are in order from easiest (0.0) to hardest (8.7) below ↓ (per MS Word's Readability Statistics). Mike, April 6, 2019

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63. Wash & Dry, Colored & White (2)   0.0
69. Glassy Top, Wobbly Bottom (2)   0.1
18. M&Ms Mmm‐Mmm, Scratches Unh‐Unh   0.2
101. What Do Girls Want?   0.3
137. Scabs Are for Picking   0.3
71. Clothespin First, Bandage Second   0.5
128. Tenant Takes a Look For a Crook   0.5
68. Glassy Top, Wobbly Bottom (1)   0.6
57. And It'd Better Be Quilted   0.7
134. He Loves Her So Much   0.7
135. Simple Names for Her Pets   0.7
7. Is That Rice, or a Bug?   0.8
138. Her Honda Is Her New Home   0.8
141. Favor for Mom Goes Poorly   0.8
90. Husband's Love Is XXX Large   1.0
26. Painting: Old House by the Sea   1.1
47. Getting Along Like Cats and Dogs   1.1
64. Spring Forward, Fall Back   1.1
3. Where Did He Leaf It?   1.2
132. Single Prof Seeks Girlfriend   1.2
13. He Wants His Back Back   1.3
60. Someone's Dinner Smells Good   1.3
77. Pollster Interview Ends Suddenly   1.3
87. Oh, Boy! It's a Boy!   1.3
24. ATMs behind Locked Door   1.4
45. Lax Security, Relaxed Guard at LAX (1)   1.4
55. I Called You? No, You Called Me!   1.4
114. Push Bully Back, Son   1.4
129. Janitor's Pail Is Always Empty   1.4
35. The Icing on the (Birthday) Cake   1.5
74. Count Your Change before You Leave   1.5
108. Who Sent This Cool Email?   1.5
139. Goooooaaaaal!   1.5
1. Ring in the New Year   1.6
2. No Food or Water for Her   1.6
5. He Loves Her Because   1.6
126. She Borrows a No. 2 Pencil   1.6
19. Tutor: How Much to Charge?   1.7
79. Cheap Jacket: What Goes Up ... (2)   1.8
85. Projectile Retort to Performance Art   1.8
117. Beautiful Lighter, Sorrowful Engraving   1.8
127. Flu Shots for Flu Season   1.8
163. Dad: It's Just a Stomachache (2)   1.8
42. Your Government Has Your Back   1.9
67. An Evening Jog on the Beach   1.9
120. Pit Bull Loose in Central Park (1)   1.9
121. Pit Bull Loose in Central Park (2)   1.9
122. Silver‐Haired, Silver‐Tongued Seafarer   1.9
123. She Sees Hair—There and There   1.9
133. Pull Paper Towels Singly   1.9
23. It's Late—Where's His Wife? (2)   2.0
142. A Love Flight, LA to NYC   2.0
6. Your Hugs Are Bothering Me   2.1
62. Wash & Dry, Colored & White (1)   2.1
136. Mean Coworkers Anger Boyfriend   2.1
150. Fearful Female's Fatal Finger (1)   2.1
164. Dad Awaits Surgery (1)   2.1
10. Keep His Death Quiet, or Not?   2.2
12. "Please Wait" ... and Wait   2.2
28. Ripped Pants at NYC's Duane Rite   2.2
38. One Man's Trash Is ...   2.2
44. Fired‐up Fired Worker Fires Back   2.2
59. Swimmer Ends Up in the Drink   2.2
112. The Neighbors Are Spying On Me   2.2
140. Client Loves the 18th Apt.   2.2
145. Big Apple, Here We Come!   2.2
153. Letter Omits Need for Car (2)   2.2
156. Lightning Bolt Enlightens Angler (1)   2.2
165. Dad Awaits Surgery (2)   2.2
65. Paid For by U.S. Census Bureau (1)   2.3
72. See the Doctor, Face the Music   2.3
76. Cheap: Apt., Postcard, Applicant (2)   2.3
81. The Sofa Not Sat On (2)   2.3
9. Don't Be a Racist, or a ...   2.4
15. The Package Pick‐Up Attempt (2)   2.4
16. A Cigarette for Long‐Gone Grandpa   2.4
34. Birds Hit Plane Hits Icy River   2.4
41. When Everyone's a Hero, No One Is   2.4
56. Grab the Banana and Run   2.4
78. Cheap Jacket: What Goes Up ... (1)   2.4
110. Hangs Up on Alzheimer's Lady   2.4
118. Dig For the Rewards Cards   2.4
39. USPS: Package (out of) Control   2.5
94. He Likes Them Young and Pretty   2.5

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4. Get Rich or Get Going   2.6
14. The Package Pick‐Up Attempt (1)   2.6
36. Well, It's Not His Appendix   2.6
73. No Hand Merits No Hand Out   2.6
100. Cell Phone Saves Drunk Driver   2.6
159. Soothe Cords with 8 a Day (2)   2.6
20. NYC Loves The Naked Cowboy   2.7
48. USPS: We Deliver, Not Redeliver (1)   2.7
31. No More Searching for Store Items   2.8
58. Umbrellas Fill NYC Trashcans   2.8
124. A Shaken Baby Doesn't Stir   2.8
143. Trick‐or‐Treaters Get Tricked   2.8
32. Good to the Last Drop!   2.9
52. Fly the Un-Friendly Skies   2.9
83. Gulf Disaster: Oil and Water   2.9
92. Kill the Bugs, Save the Bugs   2.9
105. His Girls Will Date the Right Boys   2.9
107. Market Bags Too Heavy (2)   2.9
115. Workers Abound in Big Apple (1)   2.9
17. New Parking Signs, Same Villains   3.0
22. It's Late—Where's His Wife? (1)   3.0
29. Manhattan outside His Window (1)   3.0
54. Info Desk: Nod Right, Nod Left   3.0
88. From Penthouse to Outhouse (1)   3.0
125. How to Pick Up Girls   3.0
130. A Natural Pillow for Icy Walks   3.0
30. Manhattan outside His Window (2)   3.1
37. Decent Apples, Indecent Manners   3.2
91. America: It Was All Worth It   3.2
146. Baby Dies after Fall   3.2
25. Word Search Tests Your English   3.3
61. Same Book, Different No. of Pages   3.3
82. BP: Busted Pipeline, Bitter Public   3.3
66. Paid For by U.S. Census Bureau (2)   3.4
96. He Tricks the Airline—Maybe   3.4
119. His Voice Tries to Trick Him   3.4
33. Nations Respond to Quake in Haiti   3.5
43. The Front Desk Has a Dark Side   3.5
46. Lax Security, Relaxed Guard at LAX (2)   3.5
75. Cheap: Apt., Postcard, Applicant (1)   3.6
80. The Sofa Not Sat On (1)   3.6
89. From Penthouse to Outhouse (2)   3.6
86. Ump Strikes Out at First   3.7
40. TSA Will Find Him—Eventually   3.8
109. Book Is Full of Typos   3.8
131. Newspaper Boils His Blood   3.8
51. USPS: We Deliver, Not Redeliver (4)   3.9
27. Insurance Costs Little, Pays Little   4.0
102. Smoking Causes Tooth Decay   4.0
144. NY Prisons: "The Good Life"   4.0
166. Priest Hijacks a Eulogy (1)   4.0
8. Hacker Steals Millions, Copper Says   4.1
84. It's a (Whirly)Bird! It's a Plane!   4.1
99. 20 Years behind Bars = $10M   4.1
103. Mom Liked Me More Than You   4.1
111. No Haggling re Garage Door   4.1
154. Bed, Bike, or Black Plague? (1)   4.2
21. Rewrite NY Voting Rules? No Problem!   4.3
53. Job, He's Not: Life Is a Hassle   4.3
113. A Flowery, Focused Foto at Macy's   4.3
116. Workers Abound in Big Apple (2)   4.3
158. Soothe Cords with 8 a Day (1)   4.3
11. Bad Brakes Trump Drunk Drivers   4.4
157. Lightning Bolt Enlightens Angler (2)   4.4
162. Dad: It's Just a Stomachache (1)   4.4
98. McBurgers Recalls Glasses   4.6
104. Thieves Take 5 Museum Paintings   4.6
97. Ham It Up with Your Burger   4.7
147. NYC Radio Weather Report   4.7
151. Fearful Female's Fatal Finger (2)   4.7
50. USPS: We Deliver, Not Redeliver (3)   4.8
95. Wedding Invite Worries Him   4.8
149. Rescue Dog Rescues Rescuer   4.8
70. A Perfectly Useless Perfect Score   4.9
155. Bed, Bike, or Black Plague? (2)   4.9
106. Market Bags Too Heavy (1)   5.2
167. Priest Hijacks a Eulogy (2)   5.2
93. How about You Thanking Me!   5.4
148. NYC Radio Traffic Report   5.4
161. Hole in the Face Cancer (2)   5.7
152. Letter Omits Need for Car (1)   5.8
49. USPS: We Deliver, Not Redeliver (2)   5.9
160. Hole in the Face Cancer (1)   8.7