70. Senator Earl Adams recently admitted that he had been having sex with prostitutes. He claimed, however, that he actually wasn't having sex with them; he was just talking to them. But he did admit that he wore diapers during "some" of those conversations. When the senator got wind that a newspaper was going to reveal his shortcomings, he called a news conference. Apparently, he figured that by "confessing" instead of "getting caught," he would be forgiven faster. The senator announced that God would forgive him because He understands that senators need to relieve their stress somehow.

In a 1998 magazine interview, his wife said that Adams was as faithful as a puppy dog. She added, however, that if she ever did catch him cheating, she would divorce him. In 1999, Adams told CNN that President Clinton should resign because of his affair with Monica. He was "unfit" to remain in public office after his "shameful behavior."

Senator Adams, however, said he would remain in office. To resign would be to let down the people who had voted for him. His wife announced that she loved him and would stand by her man.

The U.S. Senate contains 100 of the most powerful people in the United States. They are elected because of their integrity, intelligence, and leadership. Yet here is a senator who regularly cheats on his wife, who doesn't realize that an escort service keeps phone records, and who dresses in baby clothes. The man is a joke, but he will have the last laugh—when the good people of California reelect him!

8.5, 61.4, 12%, 16.4, 263
Vocabulary: admit announce apparently cheat claim confess contain diaper divorce elect escort faithful figure integrity intelligence prostitute puppy realize regularly relieve resign reveal senator shortcoming PLUS baby forgive God joke laugh news office sex stand wind

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