Click to use the Talking Dictionary 829. Airline Might Soon Go Southsouth Click to listen.

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Northnorth, a new U.S. airline, bragged, "If we're late, we pay." Passengers flocked to buy tickets, unaware of Northnorth's bogus definitions of "late" and "pay" buried in its 400-page Terms of Use. However, passengers quickly became aware of the airline's other penny-pinching tactics. It flies unwashed, older planes. A passenger reserving a window seat, which costs extra, can pay more extra to have his window pre-washed if he wants to view takeoffs and landings. A peanut dispenser delivers 10 raw, unsalted peanuts for a dollar, paid for, like all other amenities, with a credit card swipe. Free, uniodized salt is usually available in the shaker chained to the dispenser. Reclining seatbacks cost a quarter a minute, as do the overhead, fresh-air blowers. Any passenger willing to stand in the aisle can fly half-price. He doesn't have to worry about blocking the flight attendants because, like the toilets, there are none.



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