A passenger plane crashed into George Washington's nose on Mt. Rushmore when the pilot decided to commit front-page suicide. "Why?!" implored handsome anchors. The world was shocked. Eugene, a jaded New Yorker, yawned. Wait till next week, he thought. Sure enough, the following week a space rocket delivering supplies crashed into the space station, blowing both vehicles into smithereens and killing hundreds on Earth. The world was shocked. Five different terrorist groups claimed responsibility. Eugene yawned. Wait till next week, he thought. Sure enough, the following week, a prankster hacked into the U.S. power grid, shutting down all electrical power nationwide for a week. Thousands died in disabled elevators. The world was shocked. Eugene yawned. Wait till next week, he thought. Sure enough, the following week brought shocking news. But this time it was Eugene who was shocked. On his Monday morning subway ride to work, Eugene found a seat!