992. Recently, when nary a black was an Oscar nominee, blacks decided they would start their own Oscars—the Blackademy Awards. Then browns, yellows, and reds decided likewise. This revolt alarmed the whites. At a hastily arranged confab, an Oscar spokesman said, "How about we rotate every award every year? For example, one year, Best Director will be black, next year brown, next year yellow, etc. You get the picture. Will this fly?" Everyone agreed it had eagles' wings. He said, "Great, then it's settled. Next year, whites will get all the awards, then blacks the following year, then browns, etc. Then we'll simply repeat the rotation." The room erupted. Everyone started yelling. Everyone started complaining and explaining why their own race should go first. Then the red director‐actor stood and said, "Forget it! We're going first. It'll be the first time we've been first anything since we got here—first!" 5.3