924. Barney had just finished mowing his lawn. He was chugging some ice water when his next‐door neighbor Oliver walked over. "Now Barney, don't take offense, but would you mind wearing a shirt when you mow your lawn? My wife says you look like a big fat redneck out here. She hates looking out the window and seeing you half‐naked." Oliver, oblivious to his own faults, had been complaining about Barney's faults for the last ten years. Barney said, "Well, first of all, I look like a big fat redneck because I am a big fat redneck. Second, does Neighborhood Watch now have an Apparel Patrol? How about if the next time I see you in your yard wearing that ugly yellow jersey, I ask you to burn it? Third, who's forcing your wife to gawk at me? Maybe for her birthday you could buy her a nice set of curtains." 5.0