914. He said, "Ho‐ho‐ho! I just became a volunteer Santa from 8 till noon through Christmas Eve." She said, "Congratulations, Santa! But why only four hours? You're retired. You can work more." He said, "That's what I said, but they said four hours is like eight hours." She said, "Really? You're just sitting there. What's so hard about that?" He said, "The kids, honey! They pull your beard, cry and kick, stick their fingers in your nose, and squirm and fidget, and of course the wee ones wee." She said, "There goes your outfit." He said, "Nope. I already figured it out. I'm going to bring paper towels and a red, shallow plastic tub, and I'm going to put every tiny tot into the tub. If any of the peepots make puddles, I'll just sop everything up with the towels." She said, "You're so smart. You make Mrs. Claus very proud!" 2.7