Click to use the Talking Dictionary 64. Who Shot My Sugar?


64. A police officer visited a former dog owner. Someone had shot and killed her 4‐year‐old pit bull. The officer knocked on her door.

Opening the door, Beulah said, "She's exactly as I found her. I didn't move a thing. Where's your tape? Where's your photographer?"

He said, "Excuse me?"

She said, "You know. The yellow crime scene tape. The forensic photographer. Don't you watch TV?"

He said, "Ma'am, with all due respect to your dog, it doesn't get the tape and photography treatment. Maybe the President's dog would. Now can I see your dearly departed, please?" She led him into the back yard.

The officer asked, "Did your dog have any enemies?"

She said, "Not that I know of. Sugar was the sweetest thing this side of a candy store. She wouldn't hurt a fly. All these know‐nothings always bad‐mouth pit bulls, but if they'd met my Sugar, they'd want her young'uns."

The officer said, "Well, you know 311 has received complaints about her barking for over a year."

She said, "Yeah, Sugar barked a bit, but that was because she was happy. Besides, nobody'd shoot a dog just because it barked. Well, maybe a crazy person. Crazy people'll do anything. But, if you knock on enough doors, I'm sure you'll find the killer—and the real reason they shot poor Sugar. I'm going to have a funeral for her out back here. Would you like to come? It might be worth your while. Killers like to show up at funerals, you know. They like to admire their work. It's part of their sickness. You could arrest him before he kills again." 3.2, 277


64. Copyright © Mike Carlson. All rights reserved.