955. Planet's Sole Paperless Place


955. Teddy told his brother, "If there's one good thing about dying, it's that I won't have to deal with paper anymore. There's nothing on this planet that I hate more than paper. Not urine‐soaked sidewalks, not barking dogs, not even a long hair in my salad! Paper is a four‐letter word—contracts, bills, tickets, receipts, forms. Employment forms, rental forms, medical forms, bank forms. I bet there's more forms on earth than there are people! Name, address, phone, email, on and on, over and over. But when I die, all these forms, all this paper—they'll all be dead to me!" Franklin said, "You're forgetting one thing. What about your obituary and your death certificate?" Teddy said, "What about them? They'll be the first two pieces of paper in my life that I can totally ignore. That thought alone's enough to warm my chilly bones when I'm six feet under." 5.3

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