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Talking Dictionary820. Five Boroughs Of Seatmate‐Phobia


820. Al had developed a fear of sitting anywhere in public. No matter how isolated the seat he carefully chose, he knew that in mere seconds some newcomer would decide that Al's "private" seat was the best seat in NYC and plop down right next to him. To make matters worse, of course, the newcomer was usually the giantest, smelliest, noisiest, cootiest, unkemptest, undesireablest, eatingest, music‐playingest, space‐invadingest, and cellphone‐yakkingest person in the entire park, or train, or bus, or movie theater. How come, Al often wondered, no thin, book‐reading, 85‐pound people ever sit down next to me? Is there some invisible‐to‐me "Oversized? Please Join Me!" sign flashing over my head? One time he asked a 250‐pound woman who had just squeezed in, "Look! The whole car is totally empty. Why'd you have to sit right next to me?" She said, "I don't know. It's like some force pulled me over here." 7.4


820. Copyright © Mike Carlson. All rights reserved.