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Talking Dictionary781. Dumbest Honker In NYC


781. Honkers were hurting NYers' eardrums. Hizzoner called a car manufacturer, who said, "No problem. We can electrify the horn. The more you use it, the stronger the shock you get. Or, we could make the horn 'renewable.' You only get 50 honks. When you run out of honks, you have to buy more honks." The mayor loved both ideas, but the governor didn't. The mayor's wife made a suggestion. She said, "Let's have a monthly 'Win, Place, Show' contest. We'll give ribbons to the dumbest honkers we can find. Maybe we can embarrass people into stopping honking." Five weeks later, at city hall, the mayor feted the top three honkers. "Show" won for honking at an old lady using a walker in a crosswalk. "Place" won for honking in a $350 "Don't Honk" zone. "Win" won for honking at 10 cars in front of him waiting on a red light. 4.0


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