713. A Queens Fish Tale


713. Oprah went to an animal shelter in Queens. After browsing, she told a worker, "They're all so cute. But they're all still here. Nobody's taking them home. How long do you keep them? Do they have an expiration date?" The worker said, "Ha! Yes, we stamp it inside their ears. Just kidding. How can I explain this? These animals are like inventory, but not. If inventory doesn't move, a store reduces the price. But we can't do that, because there is no price! We can't return our inventory to a warehouse, because these critters came from the streets. So, there's only one thing left to do—we euthanize the furry dears." Oprah said, "Aww. And then you give them a dignified burial in a beautiful pet cemetery?" He said, "Wouldn't that be nice? Actually, a barge takes them out to sea and dumps them overboard. Then the fish eat them." 3.5

    MENU    

713. Copyright © Mike Carlson. All rights reserved. www.eslyes.com